Sorry I’m late, I should have updated my CV! What have I been doing So far on my...

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Sorry I’m late,
I should have updated my CV!
What have I been doing
So far on my degree?

Well, I’ve done some nursing
I’ve done some juggling too
I’m also good at herding cats
With feeding time at the zoo
And I’m quite the illusionist
With peek-a-boo.

I’m a great nursery rhyme singer
Thinking of joining a choir
And sometimes at night
I’m a human pacifier

I’m a researcher, an analyst
I work through many problems
I can handle all sorts of challenges
Throw them at me, I’ll solve them.

I’m an experienced hygienist
Nightly baths are my profession
Oh no, I’m not talking about myself
Sorry, what was your question?

I’ve had some work place injuries
Someone called it a ‘rod for my back’
But somehow I survived
With endurance and not giving a crap.

I’m also an event planner
I’m a taxi, and a chef
A stylist, and a story teller
And a great cleaner of mess.

I’m a director and a producer
And let me just recap
References during lunch is out
My boss will be taking a nap.

I’m a teacher and a student
Sometimes that line is blurred
I’m a mediator and a builder
And I translate words
What language you ask?
Oh you wouldn’t have heard.

I’m a heavy weight champion
A bodyguard, a judge
A chemist and a life coach
And I don’t hold a grudge.

What do I do in my spare time?
I go for walks around the street
Looking like utter ass
Muttering, “please go to sleep”.

What are my key attributes?
Well I’m braver now and stronger
I’m confident in my choices
I can push myself a little longer.

I’m a multitasker, a sleep consultant
And by that, I mean a hammock.
I love taking photos of my family
That look more like national geographic.

I’m a financial planner, a shift worker
An impressionist, an assistant
An inspector and a detector
No day is ever consistent.

I’m also quite the tour guide
And pretty good I’m told
I know I only have two arms
But you should see how much I can hold.

My weakness is I guess
I feel everything 10 x more
Since becoming someone’s home
I’m somewhat different than before.

My last salary for all this work?
No, I didn’t charge a fee
It’s the greatest ‘job’ I ever had
I’d do it all again for free.

Jess Urlichs, Writer 📖 ‘From One Mom to a Mother.

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